Good afternoon or whatever time of day it will be when you see this!
I hate writing articles. Content pieces, articles, etc. I don't know why. I mean, they're simple and short and on point, but I just dislike writing them. This is part of why I stink at keeping this blog updated.
But I know I have to keep up on my blog because this is my journey and when I do projects I'd like some accountability, you know?
Anyways, I ran into some issues with mturk, not doing that anymore, and now I'm working on doing elance stuff which I've had an account on since I turned 18. I'm working on creating work samples of editing, transcription, Spanish to English translation, and creative writing.
I'm also going to try to do some learning stuff. Because learning is cool and gives me more marketable skills.
My website will be the host for my samples, as well as elance. Because I already have a section called "treasure chest" I figure it can't hurt to have a freelancing section. I mean, I already write. And the website it basically the home of... my projects. ^^"
I'm hoping Wings will be ready soon. Both Amazon and Sumbola are waiting for my work. So that's where my focus needs to be, besides projects. I'll probably also look for some writing contests to submit to because why not.
I might quit my reading a hundred books in a year challenge. I want to read all the books, I want to record video of my reviews, but it's all so much effort and takes time and I'm finally beginning to understand that I'm a human.
The fact that I am only human is something I've been trying to ignore for years. It's caused me a lot of problems. I still have a lot of interests and things to take care of, but I now realize I can't do 20 zillion projects at the same time. It's not good for my mental health.
So there will be more blog posts in the future because this has been my blog for forever and it's not going to stop.
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! From what I know of the car, we have definite transmission issues and potential intake problems. And all the cars problems are expensive, so working towards getting a new car would be beneficial.
Apparently there's also the potential of the car exploding. This would be exciting if it didn't mean potential injury/death.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Featuring Wings!
Good Afternoon my lovely viewers! Here is the post I promised you on my currently-being-edited book, Wings!
The cover depicts a bird in a tree, which plays a role in the book itself. I wanted to use a piece centered on the beginning of the book so that when a reader steps into the world, they start around the image they see. This allows some connection between the look of the book and the story inside.
"Wings outstretched. Darting. Soaring. Gliding. Trees creating mazes in the playground of the sky."
The story begins in the dream of our main character, Melissa. Melissa is a young girl just trying to make her way through school. Unfortunately, she doesn't have many friends, her best friend has ditched her, and now she has these bony lumps growing on her back! What's a teenager to do?
To top it off, her mom wants her to go into the doctor for surgery, but Melissa hates doctors! Her only escape is in her dreams, but they start feeling a little too close to reality. I can't say much more plot without spoiling the story, so I hope you give it a read!
Wings is set to be published within the next month! See future posts for more details.
Stay Awesome!
-Alexandria
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! From what I know of the car, we have definite transmission issues and potential intake problems. And all the cars problems are expensive, so working towards getting a new car would be beneficial.
Apparently there's also the potential of the car exploding. This would be exciting if it didn't mean potential injury/death.
First, let's take a look at the cover of Wings.
The cover depicts a bird in a tree, which plays a role in the book itself. I wanted to use a piece centered on the beginning of the book so that when a reader steps into the world, they start around the image they see. This allows some connection between the look of the book and the story inside.
"Wings outstretched. Darting. Soaring. Gliding. Trees creating mazes in the playground of the sky."
The story begins in the dream of our main character, Melissa. Melissa is a young girl just trying to make her way through school. Unfortunately, she doesn't have many friends, her best friend has ditched her, and now she has these bony lumps growing on her back! What's a teenager to do?
To top it off, her mom wants her to go into the doctor for surgery, but Melissa hates doctors! Her only escape is in her dreams, but they start feeling a little too close to reality. I can't say much more plot without spoiling the story, so I hope you give it a read!
Wings is set to be published within the next month! See future posts for more details.
Stay Awesome!
-Alexandria
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! From what I know of the car, we have definite transmission issues and potential intake problems. And all the cars problems are expensive, so working towards getting a new car would be beneficial.
Apparently there's also the potential of the car exploding. This would be exciting if it didn't mean potential injury/death.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Making the Numbers Add Up
Wonderful stuff, financial stability is. With financial stability you can buy food and pay bills and even do some fun things. But financial stability is hard to get and sometimes some people have problems making the numbers add up. I know I do.
Today, I have one less bill. This bill is the last changeable red mark on my credit score, so it's pretty spiffy to have gone. It's what I've been doing with my freelancing, trying to pay off old debts and get my life together. So far it's been working, but it's hard.
There are many things in life that cost money that are unexpected, unplanned for, and sometimes feel unmanageable. This includes medical problems, car problems, computer issues, and broken items, as well as a wide variety of other things.
A lot of people talk about building a safety net for those unexpected incidents, but how does one build a safety net when all of their money is spent on things they need?
This is part of why we're doing a once a month grocery trip instead of once a week. It's not as healthy, no, but it helps to save money.
It's why we're considering bikes. It involves an upfront fee, but might save on car-related things later.
How do we make the numbers add up?
There are two factors that are a part of every big money debate. They are lowering costs and increasing income. Which do you focus on? Well, obviously both. So we're doing a bunch of things to lower our costs, which will help us a lot. But we somehow have to increase income. So I've been seeking out more freelance opportunities.
This is also hard. One reason people love the idea of lowering costs as a means to making their money last is because it's easier to control. You can control how much you spend, to a point. It's a lot harder to control how much you earn. There's a lot more that goes into it. You have to find work, be hired/accepted, get verified, and be given the work to do. Then there's all the reporting and stuff. And if you're earning income by selling a product, you need to find buyers.
But increasing income is needed if you have those unexpected incidents. What can you do but work harder? Try to work smarter? Well, you can have a loan but that will increase month by month costs. So even if you do get a loan you still need to work harder and smarter. And it's hard. It's hard but I don't think it's impossible.
I'm going through a mild down turn in weekly earnings through my freelancing, but part of that is due to the time investments on finding more and better opportunities elsewhere. An investment into my future.
And as stated before, I'm also working on Wings and will have a blog post out soon on its behalf!
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! From what I know of the car, we have definite transmission issues and potential intake problems. And all the cars problems are expensive, so working towards getting a new car would be beneficial.
Apparently there's also the potential of the car exploding. This would be exciting if it didn't mean potential injury/death.
Today, I have one less bill. This bill is the last changeable red mark on my credit score, so it's pretty spiffy to have gone. It's what I've been doing with my freelancing, trying to pay off old debts and get my life together. So far it's been working, but it's hard.
There are many things in life that cost money that are unexpected, unplanned for, and sometimes feel unmanageable. This includes medical problems, car problems, computer issues, and broken items, as well as a wide variety of other things.
A lot of people talk about building a safety net for those unexpected incidents, but how does one build a safety net when all of their money is spent on things they need?
This is part of why we're doing a once a month grocery trip instead of once a week. It's not as healthy, no, but it helps to save money.
It's why we're considering bikes. It involves an upfront fee, but might save on car-related things later.
How do we make the numbers add up?
There are two factors that are a part of every big money debate. They are lowering costs and increasing income. Which do you focus on? Well, obviously both. So we're doing a bunch of things to lower our costs, which will help us a lot. But we somehow have to increase income. So I've been seeking out more freelance opportunities.
This is also hard. One reason people love the idea of lowering costs as a means to making their money last is because it's easier to control. You can control how much you spend, to a point. It's a lot harder to control how much you earn. There's a lot more that goes into it. You have to find work, be hired/accepted, get verified, and be given the work to do. Then there's all the reporting and stuff. And if you're earning income by selling a product, you need to find buyers.
But increasing income is needed if you have those unexpected incidents. What can you do but work harder? Try to work smarter? Well, you can have a loan but that will increase month by month costs. So even if you do get a loan you still need to work harder and smarter. And it's hard. It's hard but I don't think it's impossible.
I'm going through a mild down turn in weekly earnings through my freelancing, but part of that is due to the time investments on finding more and better opportunities elsewhere. An investment into my future.
And as stated before, I'm also working on Wings and will have a blog post out soon on its behalf!
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! From what I know of the car, we have definite transmission issues and potential intake problems. And all the cars problems are expensive, so working towards getting a new car would be beneficial.
Apparently there's also the potential of the car exploding. This would be exciting if it didn't mean potential injury/death.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
What is Alex's Journey?
After the mental health series I did, I got a lot more views on things. Part of it is the content, the other part is that I actually posted regularly (which makes a huge difference in numbers.)
So because of that, I wanted to take a moment to express the "point" of this blog and welcome any newcomers along to this journey.
At it's most basic sense, this blog is about me and my journey. It's not really a journal blog, though, because I don't just write about my day. I often write about issues that are close to me, new things I'm trying, and pieces related to things I'm doing, such as the 10k writathon series I did last August.
So far this blog has covered work-related, writing related, lifestyle related, and health related subjects.
I refuse to make this blog be about anything more specific. And why? Because this is my journey. If I had a blog for everything I was interested in and did, I would never be able to keep them all updated. The central point of this blog is the journey. The journey, the planning, the ideas, the goals and how things change.
I made a point early on to mention that not everything I try will work. But that doesn't matter. That's the appeal of this blog. The changes. The ups and the downs.
And of course, soon there will also be cat pictures. As the weather gets warmer, I'm going to try to go down to the Humane Society more and get way more pictures. I try to sponsor cats every month but it's a little hard with other bills. I haven't made much this month, but I'll keep working towards it. They need me.
As part of your update on me and how my life is going:
The car is still broken and we still don't have much by way of funds. Luckily there's been a donation since then because closetdemon is awesome. However, I may soon have to ask someone for help with a loan. And by help, I mean cosigning because I've been only working on increasing my credit score since the start of the year.
I've paid one and a half bills since then that were overdue, talked with my student loan place who is going to start bringing things out of deferment like yesterday so I can pay them, and am not only saving for a car but also for one of those credit cards you pay into to get your initial balance. I think I need like $300 saved to start one? Either way it's save first, spend later.
I've been freelancing on mturk, applying for jobs on elance, and working on my book so that I can publish it soon. An Addictive Personality has netted me a couple bucks a month which may not seem like much to most people, but the fact that it's been going steady is amazing. I hope Wings achieves the same results.
Later I will be posting a blog post dedicated to the story of Wings, what some symbols are, etc. Oh, and you'll all get to see the cover. My mom took the picture for me. All the birds up here were way too elusive. And from that picture I designed the cover.
And for those of you interested in helping out with the car,
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! From what I know of the car, we have definite transmission issues and potential intake problems. And all the cars problems are expensive, so working towards getting a new car would be beneficial.
Apparently there's also the potential of the car exploding. This would be exciting if it didn't mean potential injury/death.
So because of that, I wanted to take a moment to express the "point" of this blog and welcome any newcomers along to this journey.
At it's most basic sense, this blog is about me and my journey. It's not really a journal blog, though, because I don't just write about my day. I often write about issues that are close to me, new things I'm trying, and pieces related to things I'm doing, such as the 10k writathon series I did last August.
So far this blog has covered work-related, writing related, lifestyle related, and health related subjects.
I refuse to make this blog be about anything more specific. And why? Because this is my journey. If I had a blog for everything I was interested in and did, I would never be able to keep them all updated. The central point of this blog is the journey. The journey, the planning, the ideas, the goals and how things change.
I made a point early on to mention that not everything I try will work. But that doesn't matter. That's the appeal of this blog. The changes. The ups and the downs.
And of course, soon there will also be cat pictures. As the weather gets warmer, I'm going to try to go down to the Humane Society more and get way more pictures. I try to sponsor cats every month but it's a little hard with other bills. I haven't made much this month, but I'll keep working towards it. They need me.
As part of your update on me and how my life is going:
The car is still broken and we still don't have much by way of funds. Luckily there's been a donation since then because closetdemon is awesome. However, I may soon have to ask someone for help with a loan. And by help, I mean cosigning because I've been only working on increasing my credit score since the start of the year.
I've paid one and a half bills since then that were overdue, talked with my student loan place who is going to start bringing things out of deferment like yesterday so I can pay them, and am not only saving for a car but also for one of those credit cards you pay into to get your initial balance. I think I need like $300 saved to start one? Either way it's save first, spend later.
I've been freelancing on mturk, applying for jobs on elance, and working on my book so that I can publish it soon. An Addictive Personality has netted me a couple bucks a month which may not seem like much to most people, but the fact that it's been going steady is amazing. I hope Wings achieves the same results.
Later I will be posting a blog post dedicated to the story of Wings, what some symbols are, etc. Oh, and you'll all get to see the cover. My mom took the picture for me. All the birds up here were way too elusive. And from that picture I designed the cover.
And for those of you interested in helping out with the car,
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! From what I know of the car, we have definite transmission issues and potential intake problems. And all the cars problems are expensive, so working towards getting a new car would be beneficial.
Apparently there's also the potential of the car exploding. This would be exciting if it didn't mean potential injury/death.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Mental Disorder Conclusion - Dermatillomania
Whelp. One problem of my various disorders is I randomly vanish from time to time. Just a lot of stuff to handle. (A lot of car stuff being part of it.) Plus, I have mild avoidance issues. I like to just go "ugh" and fall asleep. So that's what I did this weekend. That and playing Catherine, which is a puzzle platformer style game with a great story line complete with alternative endings. I got the best possible one.
Taking a break now and then isn't a bad thing. It's just really difficult for me to get back on track. 2-3 days is actually on the lower end of how long I vanish.
And now it's time to talk about a problem that doesn't contribute to my vanishing! Although, it does take up a lot of time. And it can trigger (or is triggered by) my depression and anxiety. This mysterious little disorder is called Dermatillomania.
What is Dermatillomania?
Dermatillomania is not widely heard of. In fact, not even spell check knows what it is, so I will probably have a hundred red squigglies by the end of this. It thinks I'm trying to spell dermatological, which is related in subject, but not what I'm trying to type.
Dermatillomania, also known as Skin Picking Disorder (SPD) is sort of an OCD cousin. The person with dermatillomania picks at their skin compulsively. It can become a pretty big problem leading to an excess of scabs and tissue damage. It also takes a big chunk of time out of your life, with serious sufferers spending hours per day. Luckily mine isn't that bad.
People with dermatillomania exhibit a wide range of behaviors. Some people only pick briefly a couple times a day without even realizing it. Others spend hours picking at a single spot. Most people use their fingernails to pick, but a lot of people also use various instruments such as tweezers or nail clippers. Some people even injest the skin that they pick.
There are two main time periods when dermatillomania starts happening. Puberty, when pimples first start appearing, and around age 30-45, which is when a lot of life stresses tend to come up. As for me, it started during the puberty time. What happens is a person starts picking at the perceived imperfections (I have keratosis, too, which means I get random excess skin bumps.) It becomes a habit and is usually tied to anxiety or boredom.
A shocking figure is that about 11.5% of pickers make suicide attempts. Also, people with dermatillomania are very likely to do other types of self-harm like cutting and banging their heads on things.
There is a controversy over whether dermatillomania is a disorder of its own or a symptom of another. As the primary issue with dermatillomania is the picking, and not something else, I stand by the opinion of the DSM-5 which puts it in its own category.
What treatment options are available to somebody with Dermatillomania?
There isn't exactly a specific cure for dermatillomania. There are some treatments that may help such as behavioral therapy similar to people with OCD, as well as trying to address potential root causes. There are not always root problems. If the person experiencing dermatillomania found a way to stop chewing their fingernails when they were younger, using a similar method may help get rid of or at least reduce their dermatillomanic behaviors.
Also, some doctors provide SSRI's, which do help some individuals.
What you shouldn't say to someone with Dermatillomania.
I might have technically had dermatillomania for longer than most people because of my keratosis. All I remember from my childhood is when my keratosis would spike, I would scratch at it and then I would get these scabs all over my arms. My peers thought it was chickenpox. Needless to say I was ridiculed for the marks on my skin.
Then came acne. I started to go after my face more than my arms. This did two things. First, my arms had way fewer scabs because I was focusing on my face. Second, my face was battle-ridden from my picking sessions. It still kind of is.
That's the thing, I'm still picking. I go through bad times and good times, but it's still there. Sometimes I make sure to add an extra half hour to my "getting ready for an event" time just so in case I start picking, I'll still be ready on time.
That, by the way, is how you know it's a problem. When you have to maneuver your life around your disorder is when it desperately needs to be managed. It has taken hours out of some of my days. It has decreased my self-esteem. It has increased my anxiety. I'm just glad I have a name for it, really. Nothing like explaining to people why you've been in the bathroom for an hour, picking at your face.
I'm working on trying to take care of it. I've been trying to lessen my anxiety, which I know is a trigger. I've got more than enough things to keep me occupied. And when I go to the bathroom, I set specific rules about what I can and cannot touch on my face. I'm still trying to get into the "wash my face everyday" habit, but I know that will help as well.
Taking a break now and then isn't a bad thing. It's just really difficult for me to get back on track. 2-3 days is actually on the lower end of how long I vanish.
And now it's time to talk about a problem that doesn't contribute to my vanishing! Although, it does take up a lot of time. And it can trigger (or is triggered by) my depression and anxiety. This mysterious little disorder is called Dermatillomania.
What is Dermatillomania?
Dermatillomania is not widely heard of. In fact, not even spell check knows what it is, so I will probably have a hundred red squigglies by the end of this. It thinks I'm trying to spell dermatological, which is related in subject, but not what I'm trying to type.
Dermatillomania, also known as Skin Picking Disorder (SPD) is sort of an OCD cousin. The person with dermatillomania picks at their skin compulsively. It can become a pretty big problem leading to an excess of scabs and tissue damage. It also takes a big chunk of time out of your life, with serious sufferers spending hours per day. Luckily mine isn't that bad.
People with dermatillomania exhibit a wide range of behaviors. Some people only pick briefly a couple times a day without even realizing it. Others spend hours picking at a single spot. Most people use their fingernails to pick, but a lot of people also use various instruments such as tweezers or nail clippers. Some people even injest the skin that they pick.
There are two main time periods when dermatillomania starts happening. Puberty, when pimples first start appearing, and around age 30-45, which is when a lot of life stresses tend to come up. As for me, it started during the puberty time. What happens is a person starts picking at the perceived imperfections (I have keratosis, too, which means I get random excess skin bumps.) It becomes a habit and is usually tied to anxiety or boredom.
A shocking figure is that about 11.5% of pickers make suicide attempts. Also, people with dermatillomania are very likely to do other types of self-harm like cutting and banging their heads on things.
There is a controversy over whether dermatillomania is a disorder of its own or a symptom of another. As the primary issue with dermatillomania is the picking, and not something else, I stand by the opinion of the DSM-5 which puts it in its own category.
What treatment options are available to somebody with Dermatillomania?
There isn't exactly a specific cure for dermatillomania. There are some treatments that may help such as behavioral therapy similar to people with OCD, as well as trying to address potential root causes. There are not always root problems. If the person experiencing dermatillomania found a way to stop chewing their fingernails when they were younger, using a similar method may help get rid of or at least reduce their dermatillomanic behaviors.
Also, some doctors provide SSRI's, which do help some individuals.
What you shouldn't say to someone with Dermatillomania.
- You're crazy/psychotic.
- We're only as crazy as people who bite their nails, stay up too late, drink too much, or smoke. Our behavior is just less socially normal.
- If we were psychotic, a treatment of the psychosis would stop the behavior. For a majority of us, it doesn't.
- Why don't you just stop picking?
- If we could, we would. Do you think we enjoy the scars left on our arms and face? The pain and irritation? High risk of infection? Ridicule? Not really.
- Our bodies become addicted to the hormones released when we pick, so it's not really a "habit" we can easily break.
- I don't see how this is a problem, you're making it up.
- If you can't see a tree fall in a forest, does that mean it never existed? Dermatillomania is a real problem that affects real people.
- Just because we're not covered in blemishes, it doesn't mean the problem isn't serious. The other important factors besides how many scabs we have is how much time we spend picking, how the picking has effected our views of ourselves and our bodies, and how much the picking has changed our lives.
- You must have really bad skin if you're picking all the time.
- Not all picking starts from having a skin condition. Some people pick at perfect skin that they perceive as imperfect.
- Also, thanks for the insult.
- I pick at my scabs sometimes.
- That's perfectly normal. People with dermatillomania do it more than "sometimes" and it's not always scabs and acne that they pick at.
- I used to cut, so I get what you're going through.
- Skin picking and cutting are two totally different things, started for completely different reasons.
- Cutting usually relates to depression and, though it can be compulsive, it usually isn't a life-long uncontrollable compulsion.
- Skin pickers do not pick their skin for the purpose of hurting themselves. Often they don't even realize they are picking until after they've done it.
- You're leaving marks on your skin for attention.
- Actually, the marks are our least favorite part of picking. Many people with dermatillomania use make-up or clothing to cover the marks. They reduce our quality of life.
- Also, giving attention to them is like social suicide, especially because most people don't understand or even know about the existence of the disorder.
- Stop taking drugs and you'll stop picking.
- Very, very few people with dermatillomania are on drugs. Dermatillomania is a disorder, not a side effect. This is very damaging stigma.
- On the other side of things, people with ADD often take stimulant medication which WILL worsen their picking.
- If dermatillomania were a real disorder, it would've been in the DSM a long time ago.
- A lot of "real" disorders were just added to the DSM. The DSM is a lot like the Vatican in terms of stances it takes, they only want to publish what they are absolutely sure of. With more medical advancements comes more information and therefore the realization of what is going on with people.
- Skin picking is only a superficial disorder because it's only harming your looks.
- Skin picking also harms your self-esteem, perception, and body-image.
- It creates a higher risk for infections.
- Some people pick to the point of needing surgery.
- It's not just blemishes, it's tissue damage.
- Suggest they seek some help! Less than half of people who suffer dermatillomania go to get treatment for it.
- If they start picking, point it out. A lot of the time they don't realize they are doing it.
- Gift them or recommend to them various lotions, loofahs, soaps, and anti-acne things that they can use. Even though people pick with great skin, I at least don't pick as much when I don't notice any bumps or scabs.
- Help us keep healthy sleep schedules and keep to other lifestyle things that lessen anxiety and depression. Those are two potential root causes, so helping one helps the other.
- Don't comment on how it looks. We try to hide it, bringing up the scabs and blemishes will only make us more self-conscious and therefore more likely to pick.
- Hang out and keep us busy! One of the other causes is boredom. The best way to fight boredom is to hang out with somebody. This way we don't become bored and mindlessly find ourselves in a picking session instead of, say, reading a book or going on a walk.
- Likewise, if we text you saying we're bored, reminding us of things that we can do like going on a walk or solving a puzzle might stop us from going into a picking session.
I might have technically had dermatillomania for longer than most people because of my keratosis. All I remember from my childhood is when my keratosis would spike, I would scratch at it and then I would get these scabs all over my arms. My peers thought it was chickenpox. Needless to say I was ridiculed for the marks on my skin.
Then came acne. I started to go after my face more than my arms. This did two things. First, my arms had way fewer scabs because I was focusing on my face. Second, my face was battle-ridden from my picking sessions. It still kind of is.
That's the thing, I'm still picking. I go through bad times and good times, but it's still there. Sometimes I make sure to add an extra half hour to my "getting ready for an event" time just so in case I start picking, I'll still be ready on time.
That, by the way, is how you know it's a problem. When you have to maneuver your life around your disorder is when it desperately needs to be managed. It has taken hours out of some of my days. It has decreased my self-esteem. It has increased my anxiety. I'm just glad I have a name for it, really. Nothing like explaining to people why you've been in the bathroom for an hour, picking at your face.
I'm working on trying to take care of it. I've been trying to lessen my anxiety, which I know is a trigger. I've got more than enough things to keep me occupied. And when I go to the bathroom, I set specific rules about what I can and cannot touch on my face. I'm still trying to get into the "wash my face everyday" habit, but I know that will help as well.
Thank you for staying with me until the conclusion of this mental health spotlight!
It really means a lot to have people listen to all the things that effect you. Making this series is also great because hopefully it's helped spread some awareness on these disorders. At the very least it's put the names out there one more time.
Alex's Journey will continue it's random subject matter as normal, except with an attempt at posting every day. Minus random vanishes, of course. Those are going to happen. But at least now you all know why, right?
It really means a lot to have people listen to all the things that effect you. Making this series is also great because hopefully it's helped spread some awareness on these disorders. At the very least it's put the names out there one more time.
Alex's Journey will continue it's random subject matter as normal, except with an attempt at posting every day. Minus random vanishes, of course. Those are going to happen. But at least now you all know why, right?
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! From what I know of the car, we have definite transmission issues and potential intake problems. And all the cars problems are expensive, so working towards getting a new car would be beneficial.
That $19 is just me saving so far. After one of my debts is wiped out (FRIDAY!!) hopefully I can make that number climb a little higher. Please consider helping out, it would be much appreciated.
In other news, I'm trying to figure out Minnesota ride stuff. The fiance and I have a ride to MN, but not back. I'm hoping we find one because it's kind of a special weekend. You see, on the 20th, he and I will have been in a relationship for a full year. We plan to go to Baker's Square because that's the place where we first met up. We can't stay until the 20th (a Monday) so we'll be going either that Saturday or Sunday. But as you can see, it's relatively important to me.
Hopefully we'll get a ride. And hopefully they'll have pumpkin pie in stock.
As always, Charmed
-Alexandria
That $19 is just me saving so far. After one of my debts is wiped out (FRIDAY!!) hopefully I can make that number climb a little higher. Please consider helping out, it would be much appreciated.
In other news, I'm trying to figure out Minnesota ride stuff. The fiance and I have a ride to MN, but not back. I'm hoping we find one because it's kind of a special weekend. You see, on the 20th, he and I will have been in a relationship for a full year. We plan to go to Baker's Square because that's the place where we first met up. We can't stay until the 20th (a Monday) so we'll be going either that Saturday or Sunday. But as you can see, it's relatively important to me.
Hopefully we'll get a ride. And hopefully they'll have pumpkin pie in stock.
As always, Charmed
-Alexandria
Friday, April 3, 2015
Mental Disorder Series - Depression
We're on day four of five guys! Bear with me! Learn some stuff and help out your friends! Obviously today's subject is probably the most common out of all the subjects you've seen and will see on this blog. (Also, I feel pretty awesome for blogging five days in a row with such huge posts! Because, you know, consistency and writing.)
Let's talk about depression!
What is Depression?
In this post we're going to mostly talk about depression in general, rather than lighting on the different kinds such as bipolar disorder, postpartum depression, or SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder.)
Depression is, at the most basic level, a constant feeling of sadness that doesn't just last a couple of days. It can be a series of periodic episodes or it can be a constant feeling. Sometimes it is dull, like a small, grey cloud in the back of one's mind. Other times it is a severe storm which can cause a lot of very unfortunate decisions to be made.
Depression hampers a person's ability to function 'normally' and can lead to problems with work, school, romantic/platonic relationships, or even just general daily existence.
What it does is it puts up a wall in front of positive thought patterns and reroutes ideas to negative thought patterns. We don't purposefully think terrible things, it just comes to us.
Depression is often tied to self-esteem and self-worth, but another huge aspect is quality of life. With self-esteem and self-worth, sadness is rooted in how we feel about ourselves whether it be from our own ideas, societies ideas, or family and peer's ideas. With quality of life, sadness is rooted in how we live our lives. People with low income, people living in abusive situations, people in dead end jobs, they all could easily get depression from quality of life.
Of course, there are always more places it could come from, but those are the three ones often featured.
There are also biological aspects of depression. In fact, according to NIMH, the brains of people with depression and the people without have distinct differences in regards to how they look.
Some signs/symptoms of depression are:
How does Depression get treated?
Two main ways! Medication and psychotherapy!
Medication tends to be SSRI antidepressants but this varies from individual to individual. In fact, there is almost no way to tell exactly which one will work for you without trial and error. Doctors tend to first try you on the least risky SSRI with a long half-life and then they move on up in risk and complexity until you find something that works. Family history or recommendation may speed up the process as genetics have a correlation, though not exact match, on which medication may work for you.
As for psychotherapy, a lot of people go in for some kind of "talk therapy." The two most common types of therapy for depression are cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and interpersonal therapy (IPT.) CBT focuses on thought patterns whereas IPT is more about working with your relationships with others.
Then, don't forget, as with most disorders there is one other way to handle it. Life style changes! Most doctors say you should exercise, get more sunlight, and make sure to sleep at least 8 hours... especially when you have depression! Yes, all that stuff seriously effects your brain chemistry. And of course then there are the other lifestyle changes like being organized and accomplishing goals as well as just plain getting out more.
What you shouldn't say to someone with Depression.
How you can totally help out the clinically Depressed!
It's actually really easy to give depressed people a hand! It's so easy, I can use simple bullet points to describe it! Without even an explanation!
My Personal Struggle with Depression.
So I'm already tired as I write this so it won't be as long as the post for anxiety. It might even be about as short as the bit for Focus Disorders! So probably about the length of the one on ODD. Let's find out!
I'm having trouble starting this out. Partially because I'm tired, but also because my depression has sort of just been with me for a majority of my life. Like I can't remember anything that started my depression or when it appeared or anything. For me, it's just kind of been there.
There were times, of course, where I'd have depression rages and I'd text my friends looking for support. There were times where I would cry randomly. There were times I would say screw it all and just go into my bed and sleep all day. It made homework difficult because I could never focus on the work. It made work difficult because the ever present thoughts plagued me. I would lay in bed sometimes simply because I hadn't the motivation to get out of it. I had no interest.
Obviously, my depression is a chronic thing. It goes through ups and downs but it's always there. Sometimes I think I'm good until I have these nagging or intrusive thoughts. I always have this cloud in my brain filled with negative things. It waits for... I don't know what it waits for before it strikes, actually. It's like a complex algorithm that one cannot crack without getting inside my head and visually seeing the variables.
My depression works in conjunction with my anxiety and focus disorder. It's like a weird cycle of emotions and feelings that I don't understand.
Let's talk about depression!
What is Depression?
In this post we're going to mostly talk about depression in general, rather than lighting on the different kinds such as bipolar disorder, postpartum depression, or SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder.)
Depression is, at the most basic level, a constant feeling of sadness that doesn't just last a couple of days. It can be a series of periodic episodes or it can be a constant feeling. Sometimes it is dull, like a small, grey cloud in the back of one's mind. Other times it is a severe storm which can cause a lot of very unfortunate decisions to be made.
Depression hampers a person's ability to function 'normally' and can lead to problems with work, school, romantic/platonic relationships, or even just general daily existence.
What it does is it puts up a wall in front of positive thought patterns and reroutes ideas to negative thought patterns. We don't purposefully think terrible things, it just comes to us.
Depression is often tied to self-esteem and self-worth, but another huge aspect is quality of life. With self-esteem and self-worth, sadness is rooted in how we feel about ourselves whether it be from our own ideas, societies ideas, or family and peer's ideas. With quality of life, sadness is rooted in how we live our lives. People with low income, people living in abusive situations, people in dead end jobs, they all could easily get depression from quality of life.
Of course, there are always more places it could come from, but those are the three ones often featured.
There are also biological aspects of depression. In fact, according to NIMH, the brains of people with depression and the people without have distinct differences in regards to how they look.
Some signs/symptoms of depression are:
- Suicidal thoughts (These are NOT necessary to be diagnosed with depression)
- Loss of interest in activities or just things in general
- Change in appetite and/or sleep patterns
- Fatigue/Decreased Energy
- Difficulty with concentration and memory
- Persistent sad or empty feelings and thoughts
- Irritability and restlessness
How does Depression get treated?
Two main ways! Medication and psychotherapy!
Medication tends to be SSRI antidepressants but this varies from individual to individual. In fact, there is almost no way to tell exactly which one will work for you without trial and error. Doctors tend to first try you on the least risky SSRI with a long half-life and then they move on up in risk and complexity until you find something that works. Family history or recommendation may speed up the process as genetics have a correlation, though not exact match, on which medication may work for you.
As for psychotherapy, a lot of people go in for some kind of "talk therapy." The two most common types of therapy for depression are cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and interpersonal therapy (IPT.) CBT focuses on thought patterns whereas IPT is more about working with your relationships with others.
Then, don't forget, as with most disorders there is one other way to handle it. Life style changes! Most doctors say you should exercise, get more sunlight, and make sure to sleep at least 8 hours... especially when you have depression! Yes, all that stuff seriously effects your brain chemistry. And of course then there are the other lifestyle changes like being organized and accomplishing goals as well as just plain getting out more.
What you shouldn't say to someone with Depression.
- "Just be happy!" - Oh yeah, as if it were really that simple. We cannot change our moods on a whim. I've tried, I really have. I've faked a smile and looked at cute pictures (and videos!) of cats for about an hour before giving up and taking a nap. I've put on comedies. I've tried to think happy thoughts. When you're depressed sometimes you need fuzzy pajamas and tea, not forced smiles and positivity lessons.
- "You'll get over it!" - This is a chronic disorder, not an event related sadness. There is nothing to get over.
- Or "Get over it" - Again, there's nothing to get over. Plus, rude. If we could stop being depressed, we really would. Nobody WANTS to be depressed.
- Or even "Get over yourself!" - For some reason there's this idea that people who are depressed are really self-centered egoists. I'm not even talking the "killing yourself is selfish" way. (Which, by the way, is another thing you shouldn't say.) Depressed people do have an enhanced level of introspection, especially during episodes, but that doesn't make them selfish.
- "I feel sad sometimes, too." - As stated in this and many other posts, this is not the way to empathize. Sadness is a common and completely okay feeling. Depression is a recurring and painful and extreme level of sadness that changes lives and worlds.
- "Stop being lazy." - Depression causes fatigue and apathy, not laziness. Laziness is a term used by people who just think that people simply choose not to do things for no other reason than they don't feel like it. People who are depressed have multiple reasons not to do things.
- "You're just seeking attention." - WRONG. If someone is pointing out their depression to you, they're not seeking attention. They're seeking help. And if they are using depression as a means for attention? Then, yet again, they need help. Help them, don't chastise them.
How you can totally help out the clinically Depressed!
It's actually really easy to give depressed people a hand! It's so easy, I can use simple bullet points to describe it! Without even an explanation!
- Encourage them to seek help for their depression.
- Give them a nonjudgmental listening ear.
- Invite them to hang out away from home with you.
- Go on walks with them.
- Give them tea, stuffed animals, chocolate, or other simple comfort items.
- Let them know you're there for them.
- Let them know everything will be okay.
- Check up on them to make sure they're taking care of themselves.
- REMIND them to take care of themselves, like eating.
- Send them pictures of cats or other adorable things.
- Send them uplifting videos, quotes, pictures, or stories.
- Communicate with them.
- Tell them that they're appreciated.
- Support them.
- Help them come up with solutions when they're stuck on a problem.
- Tell them how great they are.
- Encourage their talents and passions.
- Bring them to hang out with pets.
- Encourage them to learn new things.
- Help them meet new people.
- Let them have their moments to decompress and let our their sadness.
- Make sure they can list at least five positive things about themselves.
- AND MORE! (Basically, be a good friend.)
My Personal Struggle with Depression.
So I'm already tired as I write this so it won't be as long as the post for anxiety. It might even be about as short as the bit for Focus Disorders! So probably about the length of the one on ODD. Let's find out!
I'm having trouble starting this out. Partially because I'm tired, but also because my depression has sort of just been with me for a majority of my life. Like I can't remember anything that started my depression or when it appeared or anything. For me, it's just kind of been there.
There were times, of course, where I'd have depression rages and I'd text my friends looking for support. There were times where I would cry randomly. There were times I would say screw it all and just go into my bed and sleep all day. It made homework difficult because I could never focus on the work. It made work difficult because the ever present thoughts plagued me. I would lay in bed sometimes simply because I hadn't the motivation to get out of it. I had no interest.
Obviously, my depression is a chronic thing. It goes through ups and downs but it's always there. Sometimes I think I'm good until I have these nagging or intrusive thoughts. I always have this cloud in my brain filled with negative things. It waits for... I don't know what it waits for before it strikes, actually. It's like a complex algorithm that one cannot crack without getting inside my head and visually seeing the variables.
My depression works in conjunction with my anxiety and focus disorder. It's like a weird cycle of emotions and feelings that I don't understand.
See tomorrow for my next mental disorder spotlight!
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! :) Also, here's a quick update on the situation! The car is currently out of commission until further notice. The coolant was leaking and there's some other problems, too. It'll be drivable for work-related purposes as soon as a couple things are done. So it's not a problem there. Sadly, however, it's showing signs that it's getting to be about that time.
In other news, I learned the game "We didn't playtest this at all." It's basically a card-based micro-game that briefly (very briefly) reminded me of munchkins. On each card is an action, and you do that action. For example, there's a duel card where you play rock, paper, scissors, and if anyone chose rock, they lost. I now need to add this to my list of games to get, along with Munchkin and Cards Against Humanity.
As always, Charmed
-Alexandria
In other news, I learned the game "We didn't playtest this at all." It's basically a card-based micro-game that briefly (very briefly) reminded me of munchkins. On each card is an action, and you do that action. For example, there's a duel card where you play rock, paper, scissors, and if anyone chose rock, they lost. I now need to add this to my list of games to get, along with Munchkin and Cards Against Humanity.
As always, Charmed
-Alexandria
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Mental Disorder Series - Anxiety
I see I got a lot of views already today, so I made finishing this blog post a priority! I'm so pleased to see all the support so far on these issues I and other people deal with. This is day three out of five in my mental health series, where I discuss mental health issues that I currently have and I explain what they're like.
What is an Anxiety Disorder?
"Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." ~Arthur Somers Roche
Every person experiences some anxieties in their life. They can be big ones or small ones. Some people call anxieties: worries, fears, trepidations, or nervousness. Some anxieties don't fall under this category though. Some are unfocused uneasiness or a kind of rumination.
When anxiety becomes chronic and begins to effect one's life, that's when it falls into the disorder category.
There are many kinds of anxiety disorders including generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and various phobias. Just like in the Focus Disorders post, this anxiety post is going to deal with the general aspects of all of these, but mostly focus on generalized anxiety.
So, anxiety disorders are basically uncontrollable, chronic uneasiness, fears, and worries. Yet it often feels physical, too. People with anxiety disorders have moments of quickened heart rhythms and trouble breathing. They feel tension most of the time, even when there is nothing wrong.
Sometimes there are triggers. Sometimes there aren't. Sometimes just thinking about the day can trigger anxiety. And if anxiety gets to be too much? Anxiety attacks. Anxiety attacks are these moments of extreme anxiety where your heart beats fast, your brain is filled with frenzied thoughts, your breathing is fast and shallow. You become almost numb. It's not fun.
Anxiety attacks are slightly different from panic attacks, which is what people with Panic Disorder get. Those almost never have a trigger, but they can have one. The DSM-5 states that both expected and unexpected panic attacks are part of panic disorder. Panic attacks involve sudden intense fear and, well, panic. They involve the fast heart beat as well as the feeling of lack of control. It's pretty paralyzing.
What not to say to somebody struggling with anxiety.
"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." ~Albert Camus
How is anxiety treated?
"A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety." -Aesop
Anxiety is treated through a variety of methods, mostly through therapy but also through medication. Medication for anxiety is usually benzodiazepines. These are highly addictive and have terrible withdrawal symptoms, so they are usually only prescribed short term.
There is also a medication called buspirone (an anxiolytic) that is not as widely used, but is approved for treatment of GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder.)
Life style changes can also help, such as avoiding triggers, decreasing stresses, and developing ways to cope.
How you can help someone with anxiety.
"All too frequently, anxiety crushes not only your spirit and your potential, but your ability to take care of your mind and body." ~Jonathan Davidson and Henry Dreher, The Anxiety Book: Developing Strength in the Face of Fear
My struggle with anxiety.
"I try not to worry about the future, so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time." -Tom Wilson
My anxiety exists with my every day, in everything I do. It goes up and down, fluctuating constantly. I didn't know what it even was for a very long time. In eighth grade I was told I needed to relax constantly by a friend of mine. Hint: Didn't know how.
Before I knew what I was dealing with, I just constantly felt tension and worry. It was more of a physical feeling than anything most of the time. It would cause me to not turn in homework, act sick to get out school, actually end up sick from the stress, and then just plain avoid things and people altogether. In short, my anxiety was terrible for any hope I had of success.
I often couldn't take care of myself properly.
In 11th grade I took PSEO (post-secondary enrollment options) online. I would forget an assignment due to my focus disorder and then I would avoid the class until I had things done. That semester did not end well at all. It showcased the anxiety-avoidance paradigm. I ended up doing terribly in most of the classes due to this problem.
My anxiety got so bad due to the school issues and issues with my peers that I ended up switching schools my senior year. I don't know what I was thinking, but I took PSEO again. I still did terribly because I still hadn't gotten a handle on my anxiety and avoidance. At least this time I had a campus to go to, right? Nope. It was better for keeping me accountable, but terrible because instead of just avoiding emails, I was avoiding classes. I ended up skipping a couple times because my anxiety was that bad.
Also, the school I switched to was a charter school that did things a bit differently. Charter schools are great. This school was especially great for people who were self-motivated and had the ability to focus. It was project based learning and it was pretty much you creating your own projects and learning at your own pace. Sounds great, right? Yes, except for my anxiety, avoidance, and focus disorder. This cruel combination made me lucky to even graduate on time.
Fast forward a year and I end up in a college where I was studying massage therapy. My anxiety is not just general. I also have a sort of social anxiety. Massage therapy is probably not a good thing to get into if you have social anxiety. Especially not if your goal is to make your own business out of it. I ended up realizing this after not feeling any less anxiety at my third hands-on class as my first. Needless to say I dropped out with about half the credits I needed already completed. I had even gotten a scholarship for the school. But I couldn't handle it, and a future in massage therapy was not for me.
Then comes dealing with work and work related things. I have a lot of retail experience in different places. I worked at a hardware store, at a fast food restaurant, at a hat/costume shop (at a festival), and even as a hostess at a restaurant. Each time things went the same. I was awesome at my job, often getting complimented for my work, but would get bad anxiety. It was either customers, me not learning fast enough, not being fast enough, having too much responsibility being thrust at me, and/or having to handle money. Eventually I would start getting anxiety attacks before and sometimes even during work.
As I started to get more anxiety attacks, my anticipation of working would sometimes cause me to call in sick. Of course, I wasn't always lying. Literally sometimes my anxiety made me sick. I would feel pretty miserable that day. But it would start to become frequent enough that I knew I had to quit because otherwise I was doing the company (and my coworkers who had to cover for me) a disservice.
I ended up just not working or going to school altogether because I couldn't handle it. I tried making my own business. Too much anxiety. Tried writing my own book. Too much anxiety until I moved and somehow managed to get out An Addictive Personality. I tried freelancing and until I moved, I couldn't handle that either.
Obviously moving has helped out my anxiety a lot. I am away from a lot of pressures and stresses. I have a place to live, food to eat, and an amazing fiance who I live with that helps me out a lot. But I still suffer anxiety and get anxiety attacks. In fact, I recently had a severe upsurge of anxiety. I'm not back to my moderate levels yet, but I am getting there. It's a constant struggle and soon I will seek out care for my various disorders.
What is an Anxiety Disorder?
"Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." ~Arthur Somers Roche
Every person experiences some anxieties in their life. They can be big ones or small ones. Some people call anxieties: worries, fears, trepidations, or nervousness. Some anxieties don't fall under this category though. Some are unfocused uneasiness or a kind of rumination.
When anxiety becomes chronic and begins to effect one's life, that's when it falls into the disorder category.
There are many kinds of anxiety disorders including generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and various phobias. Just like in the Focus Disorders post, this anxiety post is going to deal with the general aspects of all of these, but mostly focus on generalized anxiety.
So, anxiety disorders are basically uncontrollable, chronic uneasiness, fears, and worries. Yet it often feels physical, too. People with anxiety disorders have moments of quickened heart rhythms and trouble breathing. They feel tension most of the time, even when there is nothing wrong.
Sometimes there are triggers. Sometimes there aren't. Sometimes just thinking about the day can trigger anxiety. And if anxiety gets to be too much? Anxiety attacks. Anxiety attacks are these moments of extreme anxiety where your heart beats fast, your brain is filled with frenzied thoughts, your breathing is fast and shallow. You become almost numb. It's not fun.
Anxiety attacks are slightly different from panic attacks, which is what people with Panic Disorder get. Those almost never have a trigger, but they can have one. The DSM-5 states that both expected and unexpected panic attacks are part of panic disorder. Panic attacks involve sudden intense fear and, well, panic. They involve the fast heart beat as well as the feeling of lack of control. It's pretty paralyzing.
What not to say to somebody struggling with anxiety.
"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." ~Albert Camus
- You're faking it.
- Nope! Sorry to get in the way of your ignorance, but people with anxiety disorders have a real problem.
- "Woman/Man Up"
- I told you all I'd bring this up today! Imagine going through a day at work with frequent periods of dizziness from not being able to breathe correctly combined with quickened heart rate and racing thoughts. Within an hour or so you also get this feeling of dread. It's not a healthy way to work. We will either snap, run away, or start bawling out of nowhere eventually. Why? Because we CAN'T HANDLE IT. Literally can't. And telling us to woman/man up is only going to make things worse. You may not be able to see our mental wall, but it's there.
- You need to just cut out the stress in your life.
- That's actually hilarious. If we suddenly could live without going to work, school, or hanging out with friends, we'd still have anxiety! Hermits can have anxiety. Monks can have anxiety. Yoga instructors can have anxiety. Zen masters can have anxiety. Reducing stress helps us cope, but it won't get rid of the anxiety we feel.
- It's just your imagination.
- Actually, many anxiety disorders have roots in brain chemistry. So it's actually how our body makes us react.
- Not all anxiety has a trigger, which makes the disorder really scary actually. We can be having a great time, dancing at a concert, and suddenly start breathing really fast, all wide eyed, and just want to curl up in the fetal position. That happened to me before, actually. I ended up just standing there for a couple songs.
- I get anxiety too.
- EVERYONE gets anxiety some times. It's a normal part of living. Everyone DOESN'T get chronic, debilitating anxiety. Or anxiety attacks. Or panic attacks. According to NIMH, about 40 million people are affected by an anxiety disorder each year.
- Have a beer/smoke/drugs.
- While these things will temporarily help, people with anxiety are highly likely to develop addictions to them, which is not okay. Also, some forms of alcohol and drugs can have adverse effects, making things worse.
How is anxiety treated?
"A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety." -Aesop
Anxiety is treated through a variety of methods, mostly through therapy but also through medication. Medication for anxiety is usually benzodiazepines. These are highly addictive and have terrible withdrawal symptoms, so they are usually only prescribed short term.
There is also a medication called buspirone (an anxiolytic) that is not as widely used, but is approved for treatment of GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder.)
Life style changes can also help, such as avoiding triggers, decreasing stresses, and developing ways to cope.
How you can help someone with anxiety.
"All too frequently, anxiety crushes not only your spirit and your potential, but your ability to take care of your mind and body." ~Jonathan Davidson and Henry Dreher, The Anxiety Book: Developing Strength in the Face of Fear
- Don't overreact when they're having an anxiety attack. In fact, don't do anything without asking them first. Some people hate being touched when they have an attack, other people need it. Ask and let them know you're here. Oftentimes they just need your presence and familiarity.
- Actually, don't overreact in general if you can help it. Nothing like anxiety and freaking out to trigger... well anxiety and freaking out.
- Suggest they seek help. Therapy is amazing for people with anxiety. It can honestly change their lives.
- Don't throw them out of their comfort zone. If they tell you something is not okay, it's not okay.
- Help them get over their anxieties. Are they afraid of taking the bus to meet you because they get anxiety over putting change in the coin thing? Help them get a prepaid card and show them how to use it. Or go with them on bus rides and put money in for them, offering every once in a while that they try. (And if they decide to, stand there with them while they do it, don't just wander off to your seat.) It is mostly through gentle suggestion that they will overcome their issues.
- Don't belittle them. They'll avoid you. (Avoidance is a large complication of anxiety. That and belittling people is a jerk move and nobody wants to be friends with a jerk.)
- Check on them. Much like depression, anxiety can effect someone's ability to complete normal daily tasks such as taking a shower, brushing their teeth, or even feeding themselves. It's good to be sure they are taking care of themselves.
- Give them tea. Or other relaxing gifts. Foot soaks, hot chocolate, scented candles, bubble bath. Anything that can be used to help calm them down will be an immense help. We also accept chocolate.
- Support their goals. Guess what? These champs already think through a ton of issues with what they're doing. If you're going to play Devil's Advocate, please make sure we know you're supporting us first. Otherwise we might get an anxiety attack and scrap the whole idea altogether because damnit nobody thinks we can do it anyways.
My struggle with anxiety.
"I try not to worry about the future, so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time." -Tom Wilson
My anxiety exists with my every day, in everything I do. It goes up and down, fluctuating constantly. I didn't know what it even was for a very long time. In eighth grade I was told I needed to relax constantly by a friend of mine. Hint: Didn't know how.
Before I knew what I was dealing with, I just constantly felt tension and worry. It was more of a physical feeling than anything most of the time. It would cause me to not turn in homework, act sick to get out school, actually end up sick from the stress, and then just plain avoid things and people altogether. In short, my anxiety was terrible for any hope I had of success.
I often couldn't take care of myself properly.
In 11th grade I took PSEO (post-secondary enrollment options) online. I would forget an assignment due to my focus disorder and then I would avoid the class until I had things done. That semester did not end well at all. It showcased the anxiety-avoidance paradigm. I ended up doing terribly in most of the classes due to this problem.
My anxiety got so bad due to the school issues and issues with my peers that I ended up switching schools my senior year. I don't know what I was thinking, but I took PSEO again. I still did terribly because I still hadn't gotten a handle on my anxiety and avoidance. At least this time I had a campus to go to, right? Nope. It was better for keeping me accountable, but terrible because instead of just avoiding emails, I was avoiding classes. I ended up skipping a couple times because my anxiety was that bad.
Also, the school I switched to was a charter school that did things a bit differently. Charter schools are great. This school was especially great for people who were self-motivated and had the ability to focus. It was project based learning and it was pretty much you creating your own projects and learning at your own pace. Sounds great, right? Yes, except for my anxiety, avoidance, and focus disorder. This cruel combination made me lucky to even graduate on time.
Fast forward a year and I end up in a college where I was studying massage therapy. My anxiety is not just general. I also have a sort of social anxiety. Massage therapy is probably not a good thing to get into if you have social anxiety. Especially not if your goal is to make your own business out of it. I ended up realizing this after not feeling any less anxiety at my third hands-on class as my first. Needless to say I dropped out with about half the credits I needed already completed. I had even gotten a scholarship for the school. But I couldn't handle it, and a future in massage therapy was not for me.
Then comes dealing with work and work related things. I have a lot of retail experience in different places. I worked at a hardware store, at a fast food restaurant, at a hat/costume shop (at a festival), and even as a hostess at a restaurant. Each time things went the same. I was awesome at my job, often getting complimented for my work, but would get bad anxiety. It was either customers, me not learning fast enough, not being fast enough, having too much responsibility being thrust at me, and/or having to handle money. Eventually I would start getting anxiety attacks before and sometimes even during work.
As I started to get more anxiety attacks, my anticipation of working would sometimes cause me to call in sick. Of course, I wasn't always lying. Literally sometimes my anxiety made me sick. I would feel pretty miserable that day. But it would start to become frequent enough that I knew I had to quit because otherwise I was doing the company (and my coworkers who had to cover for me) a disservice.
I ended up just not working or going to school altogether because I couldn't handle it. I tried making my own business. Too much anxiety. Tried writing my own book. Too much anxiety until I moved and somehow managed to get out An Addictive Personality. I tried freelancing and until I moved, I couldn't handle that either.
Obviously moving has helped out my anxiety a lot. I am away from a lot of pressures and stresses. I have a place to live, food to eat, and an amazing fiance who I live with that helps me out a lot. But I still suffer anxiety and get anxiety attacks. In fact, I recently had a severe upsurge of anxiety. I'm not back to my moderate levels yet, but I am getting there. It's a constant struggle and soon I will seek out care for my various disorders.
See tomorrow for my next mental disorder spotlight!
Oh, and for those of you interested in helping out with the car situation, here is the paypal button and a fancy progress bar! :)
In other news, I finally have a registered domain specific to my website! And a business email with that domain! Huzzah! Lookit: http://www.alexandriamyounk.com/
I obviously still need to update things on it, but this is a step in the right direction.
I'll try to post my next blog earlier tomorrow, especially since I'm going to have to queue up this weekend's posts before I leave for Easter. Hopefully the schedule thing works. Oh look, anxiety.
As always, Charmed
-Alexandria
In other news, I finally have a registered domain specific to my website! And a business email with that domain! Huzzah! Lookit: http://www.alexandriamyounk.com/
I obviously still need to update things on it, but this is a step in the right direction.
I'll try to post my next blog earlier tomorrow, especially since I'm going to have to queue up this weekend's posts before I leave for Easter. Hopefully the schedule thing works. Oh look, anxiety.
As always, Charmed
-Alexandria
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