Sunday, November 10, 2013

A new start?

I hope, many years from now when I tell the story of these upcoming years, I can say "On the day I realized I'm a relationship anarchist my entire life changed for the better." Not to say that making that decision changed my life, but that after realizing something that will take effort to go against preconceived notions to live with will spark further epiphanies and changes.

So here I go. I identify as a polyamorous relationship anarchist. What does this mean? Well it means that I believe that I can love more than one person at one time, but it also means I don't feel a need to give them a label. I don't know if that means I should or shouldn't be dating people or in relationships with people. In fact, I'll have to go over this with Devohn to get his thoughts on what I should DO. (That opens a whole different bucket of worms ENTIRELY.) I'll obviously have to work on figuring things out as they come.

The next step in my process is to devote, TRULY DEVOTE my time and effort to writing. I know I said I'd work on my writing and crafting before but you all saw how my blog kind of died for a bit there again. Not anymore if I can help it. My blog is an essential part to my writing. If I can't trust myself to write a couple thoughts every day how am I to expect myself to write a novel? This also means COMPLETING NaNoWriMo AND putting my writing before my freelance. My freelancing has a habit of taking over my life.

I have a plan for my freelancing now. I make sure I make enough to cover bills every month. I work on each project AS IT COMES IN instead of giving myself the option of procrastinating. This should be simple for the most part but it requires a couple things to change.

The first thing that blocks my freelance success is over applying for jobs. Because one job seems to take forever to get back to me I should limit the amount of jobs I apply for to maybe 75% of what I normally do. This insures I can give the best quality to my client and deliver all projects on time.

To go with that, I should start working more on Mechanical Turks which is a site I'll give the link for a little later amongst my posts as I continue to make changes. It will allow me to feel like I'm "Doing Something" instead of just waiting for job peoples to get back to me.

The second thing that blocks my freelance success, and the hardest to deal with, is my bouts of anxiety. Say I'm told by a family member that I'm worthless. What does this do to me? This causes me to react terribly, I lay in bed for hours just shaking and breaking down and staring blankly. So I need to find a way to remedy this. I'll need to find an instant "pick me up." So far, fresh clean socks are hilariously helpful in boosting my mood. Especially when fresh out of the dryer. I'll need to brainstorm ideas further.

That's actually part of my life changing process, is to get and carry around some insta pick-me-ups to help me along.

That's all for now folks!